There have been many, many times when I've felt that I want to decide and do it this way or not want to do it this way. No second thoughts in what I wanted to do. Then there are these invisble thick ropes which are tied around, not letting me go by the decision. These ropes have not been the same at all instances. I have the courage to decide but not by cutting through these ropes. At the end it is still 'my' life but not 'lived' by me at all moments.